Quote Category

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’.

Friends are God’s apology for relations.

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

I’m a working stiff. I just happened to be around at the right time, and nobody else wanted the job.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.